I just want to write…
Hey, it’s been a while.
Usually I can pound out a book and move on to the next one seamlessly. That hasn’t been the case lately. I am so far behind on my schedule I am not sure I could catch up. Its more like a scrap the original schedule and start over type situation.
I sit in-front of my computer screen wondering how the hell I got here. Writing is a way for me to lose myself in worlds of my creation. Right now my universe is a blank page an it’s killing me that I cannot fill in the white space with the color of my imagination. I’m not sure when this issue started…that’s not true. I have never lied to myself and I am not about to start now. *Long sigh* I know exactly when it happened but I’m not sure how to recover.
My mother is ill, oh she’s getting better now but for several months I watched the strongest woman I know slowly start to wither. Between the hospital stays an the Dr visits, my work…my joy faded. That along with in family fighting, car accidents and just general mayhem, I lost my creativity. I’m scared y’all that I may not be able to get it back.
Every night I stare at a computer scree and for every five words I write I erase three. I’m trying but it feels futile and after a while I don’t even try anymore. My inability to create is forcing me down a dark path that feels as if it is draining the very life out of me. I miss my hero’s an heroines, the camaraderie, the whispering voices that kept me company in my most desperate hours. I pray they haven’t abandon me.
*Somber smile* This was not what I planned to write for this blog post. I actually had a fun one written out in my head but as usual, my emotions take over an the written word is my catharsis. Friends I’m sorry for any delays in books you might be waiting for. Please forgive me if I don’t respond to you right away when you contact me. A little more time is all I ask and maybe my characters will forgive me. Hopefully if they do all will be right in my world again.
Talk to you later friends.