Do you. Be you.
To paraphrase Erika Badu. “I am sensitive about my shit.”
I needed to get that off my chest. I have been doing this for about three years. Writing that is and I have met some fantastic folks, made wonderful friendships and found kindred spirits. On the flip side of the coin I have also met some real trolls and asshats that gave less than a damn about me or my art. It’s taken a while to weed them out and move on. After all lets face it…some people can suck the life right out of you. Through it all though I have grown and learned. Not everybody is good for you but the folks you come across serve a purpose in your life whether we like it or not.
I didn’t set out to write a serious blog so I am going to swerve in another direction…no I’m not crazy and I promise in my round about way this will all make sense. After reading a few reviews (first mistake) I was kinda stuck. Didn’t want to write, truthfully I didn’t want to get out of bed. I had to think. Had my writing de-evolved so badly that peeps couldn’t stomach my characters. The very ones I poured heart and soul into in an effort to tell their story. Enter my mentor with a phone call and in her deep Jamaican accent she tells me to get over it, reminding me I am only as good as my next book. Yeah right then I needed to hear that. Then I got some wonderful messages from people that like my work and actually get what I’m trying to say. Wonderful readers that don’t know me from Adam, reaching out. This goes back to the above paragraph about having certain folks around. At a pit stop on this journey called life, connections with other individuals clicked. We can’t do it alone and hanging with like minded people can sometimes make all the difference.
Getting back to my sensitive crack. I have made a few observations at least in my small sphere. As authors a less than stellar review can send us off the deep end. Will we claw our way back? Possibly but given our fragile states of mind its a serious toss up. Yes I have talked more than one person of the edge of the abyss and actually stood on the lip more than a few times myself. Personally I think our sensitivity or craziness depending on how you look at it what makes artist who they are, be it painters, writers, creators, whatever. My need to create is often times greater than my need to do anything else and when somebody doesn’t like it, well, yes I do take it personally. It’s just the way I’m wired. I know to each there own which is why as hard as it’s been I have been trying really hard to adopt a do me attitude. Don’t like me..fine. Don’t like my work…after I calm down from wanting to stop a mud hole in your ass then that is fine too. Too each their own. Realistically I understand not everyone is going to like me or my work. And no I don’t like knowing that but I get it. If I’m going to do me I can’t judge anyone for doing them.
It took a while to get here and I don’t plan on going anywhere else anytime soon. Love me or hate me I am here and will remain so. For artist the struggle to find balance is real and something other folks who aren’t artist ay never understand. So stay strong my friends and remember…