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The Day the Voices Died?

by on May 17, 2013

There has been a lot of turmoil in my life since the beginning of the year and as I sit and stare at myForeverinLove 200x300 computer day after day, I wonder if the struggle is worth the heartache.

What thoughts ran through your mind as you read that statement? Go ahead be honest.  Someone may think I’m ready to end it all, or maybe give up. Well lately I’ve been wondering if my writing career is worth staring at a screen day after day and only managing a few hundred words, if that.

Don’t get me wrong. I love to write. I’ve written since I was a little girl. My first stories contained a four year amateur sleuth named Robin and she had a friend. They solved mysteries around their elementary school. Of course this character was inspired from reading Encyclopedia Brown, Nancy Drew and the Bobsey Twins.

Writing continued as a passion and I grew from writing straight mysteries to adding a bit of romance into my stories. So as my reading evolved so did my writing, until I dreamed of being a bestselling author like Jackie Collins, Stephen King or Danielle Steele.

While the dream is still there, I think my zeal for it has cooled. My muses are there sitting in a corner, quietly chatting, but characters aren’t making a huge commotion. I no longer feel that overwhelming need to create or write.

Somehow I thought this moment would pass, when my life settled back on track. Yet it really hasn’t. I have to fight for every sentence and sometimes every word on the page. This isn’t writer’s block…that’s when NOTHING comes. I can hear the dialogue, but it’s muffled. I can see the ending and a few scenes before that. I know what’s even going to happen, but getting the words on the page is excruciating.

TS_ATT_Final_V1_300Some days I feel bad about this. Other days I just find something else to do, like format a manuscript I’m working on to self-pub this summer or re-format a book because my altar ego didn’t realize there were two different templates. Find an editor and cover artist. Market and promote existing books to keep the books in the public view. There’s also the need to garner another contract. I’ve not met my writing goals for this year and May is half over.

I’m not giving up writing, but maybe it’s time to step back and re-evaluate what’s really going on. Maybe even try a few new things to bring the voices back to full volume. I’ve three muses and they’re all quiet. I hope life has frightened them into submission.

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3 Comments
  1. I’m glad you posted this since many who pursue a creative endeavor of any type will agree. Last year, I did very little writing and instead did more reading – for me that was something I needed to do. And it was helpful. Also, the last 6 yrs were the most tumultuous in my life and I was still recovering. Maybe readjust your goals for the remainder of the year and maybe that will give more freedom … and those characters may come swirling back.

    Or maybe concentrate more on creating and less on the marketing aspect for a bit. I know for me, and many others, the constant need to market can erode the grains of creativity.

    Perhaps write some true life essays or simply journal.

    Thanks for sharing.

    • Thanks and you’re welcome, DD. I’ve been doing a lot of journaling lately, it seems that’s the only real writing being done.

  2. Lynn, have you thought about taking a vacation? How long have you been writing every day? As much as we love it. It is work. Take a break and concentrate on something else entirely. One week, no marketing, no writing, just Lynn time.

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