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Tested

by on March 30, 2013

Sorry this is coming in late, I got a bet side-tracked by a friend’s baby shower today.

This month yours truly learned about what she was capable of. I got knocked down, flattened, and run over by a zamboni ( you know the thing that cleans the ice) metaphorically speaking of course. Writing is amazing. I love it! Without it I’d be in a corner of my house rocking back and forth because I couldn’t get all the images in my head out. But this month I thought about walking away.

I’m a stay at home mom, holder of an online job with a publishing company, writer, and the wife of a Marine. Each one of those things is demanding on it’s own and when they combine… it can be a challenge. It’s a precarious balance I have to fight tooth and nail to get just right, and I’ll be the first to say sometimes I’m uneven.

This month I had my very first book reading scheduled, so you know I was over the moon about it. I had a babysitter set up, an outfit picked out, and my book passages outlined and ready to go. Problem was, I had my dates mixed up. I missed the show. My heart broke, right along with my spirit. I cried, I cursed, I contemplated if I was taking on too much. You ever been hurt soul deep? Where the pain hits you at the core of your being and all you want to do is lie down, curl into a ball, and pretend the outside world doesn’t exist? That was me.

Not because I made a mistake, I mean we’re all human. But this was my first time venturing out for my promotional career, pushing the limitations I’d set previously… and I failed miserably. Was this some sign that I was on the wrong track? Maybe I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have the answer to any of these questions, so I did the only thing I really could. I apologized to the people I let down, and I slept on it.

Morning dawned and along with the new day came the burning desire to prove to myself I could do this. Cause in the words of my grandma “ That ain’t nothing but the devil.” It was a renewal for me, a test of faith, and character I’d won. I’m rescheduled for next April, and this time I’m going to rock the house. What obstacles have you/are you overcoming on the way to your dream?

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2 Comments
  1. Thank you so much sharing this. I know you are going to be superstar for the next reading and I hope you’ll keep us posted!

  2. Honey, I work a full time, write part time, have a husband, and a son with special needs. My plate is full, too. I’ve never been one who was given things. Everything I have came with blood, sweat, and tears. That makes me appreciate it more. You will do fabulous. I just know it! Stay encouraged and be blessed,

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