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Interview with a Dom….part deux.

by on September 22, 2012

Note: Welcome to part 2 of my interview. Before you read the actual interview I wanted to announce the winners from the last bog post. Ladies, PM me on Face Book with your address info or send it to me  at kassanna@flavorfullove.com so I can send you your swag. And the Winners are (drum rolls please)

1) Anya
2) Angelshaw54
3)Mary Roya
4)Rebecca Poole
5)Jessica
6)Manda J  Ward
7)Rosanna Leo
8)Jessica

Congratulations ladies and thank you for the comments. I have new swag for this blog  so please feel free to leave a comment and I will announce the winners on my next  blog date of 10/7. With that said please continue reading my interview with a Dom.

I met a Dom and I liked it.

He opened his mouth to speak and quickly snapped it shut when our server arrived.  She pulled out her  notepad and snatched the pen from metal rings at its top. Glancing in my direction she asked what I was drinkng. I didn’t get the opportunity to answer because Mr.Dom as I will refer to him from here on out, ordered for me. A Shirley Temple. I swiveled my head from the server to the man. Huh, and thought to myself do I look seven? I sighed, and it was a heavy one to express my displeasure but I had researched enough to know better than to actually question him in public. Well that and I really wanted this interview.

Our waitress, looked over at me while jotting down his request and gave e a hint of a smile before nodding and trotting off.  You were saying, I inquired. Mr. Dom met my gaze, did I mention beautiful chocolate brown eyes. I mean the kind of high end chocolate that melts in your mouth. Anyway I digress. His mouth lifted on the side and he rimmed his highball glass with his index finger. He was playing with me and I knew it but I would not say a word even if I did want to scream talk already.

Then he spoke and there it was again, that voice with just the hint of an accent I couldn’t quite place. Good gracious, this person was like no other I had ever dealt with. I smiled to encourage him. Hot damn let the interview begin.

Me: So you were saying…Fifty Shades of Gray, your thoughts.
Mr. Dom: I have never read it so I can’t comment on it, although based on what I have heard from others its not something I want to read. (He shrugged)

Me: Okay, Next question.
Mr Dom interrupted me: Listen, I came because you caught my interest. I will only answer your question in generalities. The bond I have with my subs is sacred to me and I will not spoil it. Now if you would like to continue I will answer you to the best of my ability.

Me: Alrighty then. In that case I will keep it short. Can you explain the  Dom/Domme – Submissive relationship to me?
Mr. Dom: A Dom/Domme is a dominant partner in a power exchange relationship could be a male or female while the sub is the submissive partner.The submissive chooses to surrender control to the dominanat partner who takes charge and assumes leadership in the relationship.

I shake my head in understanding but I’m not really getting it.  I mean I hear the words, understand the concept but I honestly can’t fathom giving up control and I say as much. He doesn’t say anything regarding my comments just sits there and studies me. The waitress returns with my drink which I push to the side, and moves on to the next bar patrons. The intensity of his gaze makes me feel like I’m being assessed and judged. But I didn’t squirm in my seat so yay for me. He picked up his glass and took a sip of his drink.

Mr. Dom: Number one, BDSM is a lifestyle and like all lifestyle’s it is not cut out for everyone. Number two, if you think about it the sub has the real power. They can stop me with one word. It’s called a safe word and if for any reason they become uncomfortable all they have to do is utter it. A good sub can keep their Master on their toes and the both will enjoy a rewarding relationship built on trust.

Me: Please explain?
Mr. Dom: Its more complex than it looks and the sub isn’t necessarily as powerless as people might wanna think. As I said before a crafty sub always keeps their master on his/her toes, they sometime step outta line just so their Master will punish them. It is now on the master to be innovative in his/her choice of punishments just to show the sub he/she is in charge and in control. For instance,  you might like being spanked…. so if you commit a minor infraction, its probably cos you’d like me to spank you…. but  if you really upset me, I’d think of something you might not like… say allowing you to come close to an orgasm and then denying you permission to cum

Me: So this is your life day in and day out?
Mr.Dom: No, unfortunately, due to my obligations, work and other wise this something I only get to enjoy on weekends, extended holidays and vacations.

Me: If you could would you change that?”
Mr.Do: Yes

Me: Do you make your subs call you Master?
Mr.Dom: That or sir.

I was writing every bit of information I could glean from him at a furious pace. I would continue to ask the questions as long as he would answer the and I wasn’t sure how much longer that was. I put the pen down and picked up my drink, choking down the sweetness of grenadine and seven-up. He surprised me by asking me a question.

Mr. Dom: You don’t like your drink?”
Me: It’s good I’m just not fond of the sweetness.
Mr. Dom: You should have said something.
Me: I didn’t think it was that serious,  Why did you order it for me anyway?
Mr. Dom: I was ordering a sweet drink for a sweet woman.

Damn if this man could not turn on the charm when he wanted. He lifted at his arm and I noticed the gleam of a thin band of steel wrapped around his wrist. After checking his watch he put his arm down and glanced up at me.

Mr. Dom: One more question. I have to get back?
Me: Two quick questions…please.

Mr. Dom: Make the fast.
Me: Describe the lifestyle in your words.

Mr. Dom: It is not as many folks see it… its is not another way of condoning an abusive relationship, not at all. Its based on love, deep mutual respect and trust. Trust is very important otherwise thinngs can get outta hand. Your second question?

Me: If you don’t mind my asking what is your criteria o accept a submissive?
Mr. Dom: I like independent minded women, who are both self confident and very intelligent. I like a sub who knows her place, loves her master but still brings a little naughtiness of her own t the table. This type of woman doesn’t submit to me because she is clingy or needs validation of her worth, she submits because something inside of her is certain submission would give her pleasure… fulfilment and happiness.

He eased out the seat and pulled his wallet from his pocket, throwing a  bill on the table.  Turning toward me, he smiled when he spoke.

Mr.Dom: It’s too bad.
Me:What’s too bad.
Mr.Dom: That you’re married. I would have gladly trained you.

On those words he turned on his heel and walked out of the building. I stared at the exit doors as they closed behind him. I was at a loss for words, actually I still am. Would I do this again? Most definitely, I had a blast playing reporter and his words, his meanings gave me a lot to think about.  Now that my curiosity is peaked I may very well delve a little deeper into the world of BDSM and who knows I really might like it. After all my first foray gave me something to write about.

Please don’t forget to leave me a comment and let e know what you thought. It will give e an excuse to do more investigative reporting on a plethora of other things I’m excited to learn about. TTYL

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15 Comments
  1. Speechless indeed. Great interview, Kass and now I’m off to get a glass of water.

  2. Stephanie Pittman permalink

    OK chick first of all you had me at Shirley Temple but as I read this interview I found myself learning more and realizing it sounds so intriguing. Now this Mr. Don as u call him I would gladly submit to him and think nothing about it Lol. Simply loved it look forward to time next interview . Your friend Stephanie

  3. Blimey, intense! I’m a little jealous, lol. Great post 🙂

  4. I learned so much from reading this. And it gives me ideas…naughty ideas. 🙂 Can’t wait for the next interview.

  5. Hmmm, you got me the writer in me thinking…

  6. Mary Roya permalink

    How exciting. If you do decide to explore more into the life style remember to negotiate very carefully what you would like to experience. And don’t forget to ask about after care. You may find it some what difficult to find a Master that will as he said ‘train’ you, because you are married. There are some very intimate plays that can happen and it might not be actual intercourse but real close. And you don’t want a jealous hubby getting on your case. Would he go with you? Great blog! Can’t wait till you write more!

    • No don’t want a jealous hubby. Truthfully I felt like I was flirting with disaster and if I wasn’t married…have mercy.

  7. Anya permalink

    Wow, did not see the marriage thing coming. It would be something if they was married to each other and this was some kind of game they like to play. I like Mr. Dom he can spank me if he likes. LOL

  8. thats a really great interview! And i am a little envious it has to be said!

  9. Serenity permalink

    Oh my I think if he kept staring at me like that I would have a very hard time from not blushing and heating up! Boy just hearing how he stared at you HOT! LOL as the interview was winding down I had the feeling that he would have asked if you would consider trying to be his sub. Like you I have been reading and learning about this lifestyle for the several months and it really intrigues me but I know my husband is not interested (quite conservative and have been giving hints but no luck so far). 🙂

    • Mary Roya permalink

      Dom like to push yor buttons or your limits. So yes he stared at her with a purpose. And he liked what he saw.

    • The man was intense. I mean his personality was just like I own you. But he never really spoke loudly or did anything out of the norm. It was almost like the vibes were just rolling off him.

  10. charisma knight permalink

    Wow, totally loved it. BDSM, sweet!

  11. Really enjoyed reading your interview with Mr. Dom…Helps people who do not know much or anything about the lifestyle-it explains it some more in detail. And I do like the question about Fifty Shades I did read the whole series and honestly it’s not “BDSM” like everyone makes it out to be. Again enjoyed reading the interview and hope that more readers understand the lifestyle more, it is very intense and not for everyone..

  12. Belle permalink

    Mr. Dom sounds delish! Great interview and the chance to learn from someone that lives the lifestyle.

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