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Saying no to Comfort Zones

by on September 21, 2012


Today I’m going to talk about something a little embarrassing, yet, exciting and freeing the same time. The first time I stepped out of my comfort zone with my writing sex scenes.  The thing about romance writers is most of us don’t know it all when we start out. We have to research those kinky sexual positions, unique toys, tricks and how to hit that “spot” just so.  I’m not saying our love lives are lack luster. I’m just saying there’s always more to learn. My venture came when my character, Sidney from Lessons from the Professor showed up and told me he was a dominant looking for a sub. While I understood the concept and some of the mechanics an expert I was not. Then he proceeded to drop the bomb that his lady fair was a virgin and I said, “Hold up! How is this going to work?”

Over the next few weeks I learned so much. I watched, tv shows, documentaries, read books and talked to people.  For a minute there I was worried my husband would become mighty curious if he checked the Netflix recently viewed. ( He was deployed at the time).  Between you and me he did ask when he got back… you develop some new interests while I was gone. I know you’re wondering if I did, but I’m going to take a note from Brittany Murphy and say “I’ll never tell.” ;).

I was embarrassed at first, watching nude folks talk about their life style and demonstrate their “play”. But I got over it and became utterly fascinated. Misconceptions were turned around and a deeper connection to my characters was made. In the end Lessons turned out great. The aspects of the lifestyle rang true to people, even though it was the early stages. I was even asked to write more. A request I will happily fulfill one day. It showed me the naughty fun that could be had when you step out of the box and give something new a try. Can you see why I love my job? It forces me to broaden my horizons.




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  1. What a great post Shyla. Stepping out of our comfort zone can be a good thing at times…and for you…it worked perfectly.

  2. Thanks Nikki!!

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